Half Goddess, Half Hell

She stood amidst the high voltage wire mesh which was but an imaginary fence of the traumatizing past tainting her body and mind. The girl lost her innocence on a fine spring morning but continued to be naive. Hopeless and helpless she shrunk into the dreary memory lanes and gave up. Fell deep into the red brightly blazing pits of her dark memory. Ruined and ruthless are the people who push away a girl who cares to love, instead of going to war for her.

The dark gloomy skies, the unending, pale patch of barren land, the dead willows, the unbosoming wounds on her skin that ate every piece of her happiness, those very scars that fed on her ability to trust people, the same foxes that tore her open and ripped apart her bones, the same bloody heart-breakers who knifed her beauty, the same old family members who laughed at her imperfections, the dark and wrenching clouds of her past that blitz her present with thunder-strikes; conspired to burn her from within. Her body was set on fire…

She mistook the fire as a void in her chest. Deep down her bosoms laid her heart. Heart, that was gold and pure. It was the seat of ataraxy. The same heart that was promised to be kept in a treasure. The same heart that was given a million promises to be cherished and worshipped by every other man that walked past her. The men aren’t to be blamed. She was like a black-hole. She pulled in deep. You can’t plummet back from the chains of her castigating persona that could open the coldest of hearts.Long were the days, when she cradled life and rainbows in her arms. The same specks of dust that made you were the same that made her. She moved on to become a storm. A calamitous conflict was befitting!

The girl was hell. The girl was a freaking piece of uncontrolled fire. Once an emotion hit her, once a chord of a person’s music set foot in her life, she cared not for the wrath that would only destroy her, ruin the person but also transform him into a charismatic dire-wolf. Worry not, of her presence, as she talks to the little angels in your head. She paves way for them in the darkest of times with her coquettish and intriguing simper. She could play you tales of pureness that melts down her glacier of thoughts. Oh, how the girl loved! Loved like you were a part of her own soul. She gave a home for unworthy men’s disrespected feelings. She softened the mightiest of lion-hearts. She calmed the ocean of emotions that could certainly kill, if not for her. She perched upon your hills of ego, as if it were pristine, romantic daisies and roses.

She watered your self-esteem like it were a tiny green sapling, just being welcomed and nurtured by mother earth.

And, what did you do? You walked on her like a doormat, you spilt her ink away, you took away her rights of expression, you tainted her body, you fled with another lady all the while saying that she was the best one could ever achieve. You messed her mesh of emotions and turned her into a laughing stock. You called her a whore when she could take down a bullet for you. Not complaining even if you were the one behind the trigger. She’d die with a smile on her face with absolute content and happiness, without a speckle of doubt in her mind for you. For the love of you!

What did you do? You called her intense. Intense was even your birth in this multiverse. Intense it was, for your mother to bring you out into this world. Intense were the times when you didn’t know whom to trust. She opened her arms wide to you. Not once did she break down. You poor thing, you lost your gold looking for glitters. You let a lady with an armour as unscathed as a mountain whose love was as clear as a stream fade away. Intense, she was. But more non-deserving were you. Her heart was too big to be held by tiny hands.

She sat beside her fence of thoughts thinking of all the people whom she wept for and the ones who left her. She sighed and laughed. The moon and the stars gossiped about yet another chaos that entered the universe.

The night lifted her up and cushioned the young girl’s dead soul.The girl loved being cradled in the lake of fire and brimstone and put to sleep in Nirvana.

You made a mistake. You fell for half goddess, half hell!


Akankshya Mishra


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